When I was a kid
I used to think that pork chops and karate chops
were the same thing
I thought they were both pork chops
and because my grandmother thought it was cute
and because they were my favourite
she let me keep doing it
not really a big deal
one day
before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees
I fell out of a tree
and bruised the right side of my body
I didn’t want to tell my grandmother about it
because I was afraid I’d get in trouble
for playing somewhere that I shouldn’t have been
a few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise
and I got sent to the principal’s office
from there I was sent to another small room
with a really nice lady
who asked me all kinds of questions
about my life at home
I saw no reason to lie
as far as I was concerned
life was pretty good
I told her “whenever I’m sad
my grandmother gives me karate chops”
this led to a full scale investigation
and I was removed from the house for three days
until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises
news of this silly little story quickly spread through the school
and I earned my first nickname
pork chop
to this day
I hate pork chops
I’m not the only kid
who grew up this way
surrounded by people who used to say
that rhyme about sticks and stones
as if broken bones
hurt more than the names we got called
and we got called them all
so we grew up believing no one
would ever fall in love with us
that we’d be lonely forever
that we’d never meet someone
to make us feel like the sun
was something they built for us
in their tool shed
so broken heart strings bled the blues
as we tried to empty ourselves
so we would feel nothing
don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone
that an ingrown life
is something surgeons can cut away
that there’s no way for it to metastasize
it does
she was eight years old
our first day of grade three
when she got called ugly
we both got moved to the back of the class
so we would stop get bombarded by spit balls
but the school halls were a battleground
where we found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day
we used to stay inside for recess
because outside was worse
outside we’d have to rehearse running away
or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there
in grade five they taped a sign to her desk
that read beware of dog
to this day
despite a loving husband
she doesn’t think she’s beautiful
because of a birthmark
that takes up a little less than half of her face
kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer
that someone tried to erase
but couldn’t quite get the job done
and they’ll never understand
that she’s raising two kids
whose definition of beauty
begins with the word mom
because they see her heart
before they see her skin
that she’s only ever always been amazing
but our lives will only ever always
continue to be
a balancing act
that has less to do with pain
and more to do with beauty.
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Being told to stand up for yourself is a common response to trouble. But “that’s hard to do if you don’t know who you are.” Asked what he wanted to do when he grew up, Koyczan found it a difficult question to answer. “When I was a kid, I wanted to be a man,” he says. “When I was a kid, I wanted to shave. Now, not so much.” (Koyczan, it should be noted, has an impressively full beard.) “When I was 8, I wanted to be a marine biologist. When I was 9, I saw the movie Jaws and said ‘no thank you.’” He said he wanted to be a writer. And he was told: “Choose something realistic.” He said he wanted to be a professional wrestler. “They said, don’t be stupid. They asked me what I wanted to be, then told me what not to be. I wondered what made my dreams so easy to dismiss.” “Oh, so many of you,” he said. Koyczan struck a nerve with the crowd of wealthy venture capitalists, scientists, philanthropists and all-around over-achievers when he told them how so many people like him start their lives conditioned to failure. “They asked me what I wanted to be and then told me what not to be,” he said of his first teachers. Koyczan first warmed the crowd up with humour, talking about how he sabotaged a bully by giving him fake answers to a test. But he then grew serious, telling the story of why he now hates pork chops — he was given that name by school bullies who twisted a favourite meaning he shared with his grandmother.” Born and raised in northwestern Canada, Shane was the first poet from outside the USA to win the prestigious USA National Individual Poetry Slam. He has performed to full houses around the world - from university amphitheaters to the most respected music and literary festivals. He has rocked the stage at the Edinburgh Book Festival, the Vancouver International Writers Festival, the Winnipeg Folk Festival and the 2007 Canada Day Celebrations in Ottawa. Acclaim for Shane’s poetry and performance has come from many diverse and respected sources - from renowned rockers Gordon Downey, Joel Pott & Dave Bidini to David Robinson, Literary Editor of The Scotsman, and Patrick Neate, winner of the Whitbread Prize and host of London’s Bookslam. Shane brings enormous vitality and virtuosity to every performance.His warmth, wit and sincerity are a hit with crowds of all ages. His lyricism inspires audiences and readers alike because Shane’s poems speak directly to the heart. As David Bidini wrote in his review of Visiting Hours in the Globe and Mail’s 2005 Books of the Year edition… “…and so, a whole new generation of rhyme readers will be born.” Shane was commissioned by the Canadian Tourism Commission to write a 'Poem for Canada' in early 2007. Shane wrote "We Are More" and has performed it to ovations across the country. It's a heartwarming, tear-jerking homage to Canada and can be read here and downloaded right here or the radio edit.
Praise for the
Poetry and Performance of Shane Koyczan
" If the [Auckland
Writers] Festival had a Supreme Award, Canadian performance poet Shane Koyczan
would have won it, packing the lower theatre and receiving a standing ovation.
Koyczan played the heart strings like a brilliant fiddler."
- The New Zealand Herald "Shane Koyczan was a surprise hit. His raw poems about love, sex and cancer made the audience laugh and cry. Along with O'Hagan and Hirsi Ali, he received on of the festival's passionate standing ovations." - Wendy Were, Artistic Director, Sydney Writers Festival "Homer must have sounded [like this]… or Ginsberg or Kerouac." - Amy Brown, The Lumiere Reader "It's time to hand out a few awards. Best chairman: Ian Rankin. Best poetry reading: Shane Koyczan. Best superstar: Salman Rushdie." - David Robinson, Literary Editor, The Scotsman, August 30, 2005 "Shane Koyczan's performance at the Edinburgh International Book Festival was one of the outstanding successes of our program. Not only did the event sell out, but the buzz from the audience was remarkable. [M]any said it was the best event they had seen all festival.." - Catherine Lockerbie, Artistic Director, Edinburgh Book Festival http://www.shanekoyczan.com/ |
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